I Hear the Sounds of the Universe (Tinnitus Experience)

This seasonal song seems appropro for today's topic:

Said the little lamb to the Shepard boy

Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing through the sky Shepard boy
Do you hear what I hear?
A song, a song
High above the tree
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea

Sometimes, our mind just seems to make things bigger than life, bigger than the sea...

My recent Jin Shin Jyutsu and other complementary and alternative medicine explorations have been centered on learning about my own healing projects of late, the label of "tinnitus," only I wouldn't exactly say it sounds like a song...(may be pronounced either as "tinn-a-tus" or "tin-eye-tis"; I prefer the former as I think of an "-itis" as an infection.)

For ringing in the ears, the most simple JSJ hold is:  Hold your ring finger!

Easy to remember...
It didn't seem to change things though, so I either didn't apply it diligently enough, or need to investigate further. I think when Mary Burmeister said, "Now Know MySELF" she was telling us to use this art to increase self awareness; awareness of one's own body, sensations, responses, energy. And of course, of the relationship between ourselves and All That Is, in a holographic sense.
This study brings me to a new level of integral awareness,

allowing me the opportunity to experience new ways of being present to what has been placed before me. Today, I'll share it with you in the form of poetry:

The Sounds of the Universe:  Musings on Tinnitus

I hear

The sound of 10,000 miniature cicadas

Who have forgotten they can stop their mating call.

My brain

Remembers the sound

Of a tubed TV

Left on after the programming has ceased.

Why is the memory of after-ringing

From an energetic concert

Persisting?

I enjoyed it so much…at the time.

I wake up to a thousand temple bells

Ringing in the distant reaches of my brain;

Or is it delicate tiny hairs damaged

From a childhood ear infection that I do not recall?

No one knows for sure.

One can mask the symptoms,

But the true source remains

A mystery.

I ask: “Is there a message I am supposed to be hearing?”

I AM paying attention…

Some say, “Don’t pay too much attention.”

Sounds of

Constancy,

Yet variable…

I do not want to believe it could be

A little ½ cup of caffeine

Or 2 oz of red wine;

I have so few vices left!

Do I give these little pleasures up now?

I am not ready!

Blessed ear drops of garlic and mullein

Healed the pulsatile sound

Of ocean waves a year or two ago

To no avail at present.

So, must not be edema, or a swollen vessel

That’s my guess anyhow.

Medications? Bah! I do not take any.

Loud music? Maybe, from many years gone by

But why would it pop up now?

I hear the sounds of the Universe

Snakes slithering,

10 million miniature Buddhas ringing tiny temple bells;

Fleshy fingertips brushing softly across a chalkboard

Thankful it is not the fingernail sound,

Because it is endless.

Refrigerator humming...

But there is not pause for relief.

I keep thinking that if my brain can ignore it some of the time

I might be able to train it to ignore it on cue,

But it rebels.

Silent meditation? Not anymore.

Paradox: listening to sounds louder than the tinnitus reduces my awareness of it.

But maybe causes more damage.

Do I have an acoustic neuroma?

And if so, what treatment?

When I had radiation treatment for cancer

They told me I was getting a “lifetime maximum dose”

I never had the ringing tones then

Maybe because I’ve lived longer than they predicted it’s been long enough,

Maybe living beyond the expected lifetime

Would mean it’s safe enough

To irradiate a tumor.

But maybe I don’t want to know I have another one.

Labels: Tinnitus. Cancer. No one can tell me the source of either.

At least the cancer is gone

Maybe the tinnitus will follow.

I will try the unconventional medicine

What have I got to lose?

Traditional Chinese medicine tells me it is the element of Metal

Or kidney or bladder meridian work that is needed

Or Jing depletion, stress

Is the energy of my ancestors

Calling me to listen

More carefully?

Ayurveda says it could be the sound of "nad",

Serpentine power

Awakened

And will respond to soothing oils and warm foods

A missive of spiritual transformation,

About to happen or is happening now.

What is the message?

I dunno

Maybe there isn’t one.

Or, perhaps the message is simply one of acceptance

And moving on.